Happier

So I have been working my ass off at my new job- and they've asked me to move up from Assistant to Lead which means I will finally make enough to move out of my parents house and finally be on my own again!!!!!

I AM GETTING MY LIFE BACK! (I feel like yelling this from the rooftop)

I actually cried on the way home after they asked if I wanted to move up, I haven't been this happy in YEARS! Every day I wake up I almost want to pinch myself.

So, you may ask, where are all your dates? -Good question.

Guys, I haven't dated since my ex-fiance and the truth of the matter is- I'm scared. I don't know how to even get back in the game and I'm terrified about letting another man into my world.

Anyone got any suggestions? Support?

Starting New

Finally graduated!!! Plus I just landed a job- thank the lord! Now I have to get my life back and really start dating. Only problem is I feel like I need to lose about ten pounds now- the consequence of being so damn happy is the added pounds...but according to Patti I am right on track.

Now I must work on my outward appearance because men are so "visual." Apparently, you can be as happy and successful as you want to be but a man won't even want to get to know you if he won't look twice at you.

A woman has to have that "fuckability" factor, right?

So now I must go through the dreaded "make-over." Just spent $60.00 on MAC make-up to start but want to know all the other shit I have to get done???

-Lose at least ten pounds (run, fat-ass, run!)

-Buy a whole new wardrobe, shoes, handbags, jewelry...

-Professional eyebrow work (don't want to look too Russian, do we?)

-Waxing- YES, everything! (my poor, poor VJ)

-New hair cut

-Pedicure

-Manicure

-Teeth whitening

-Tanning, bronzing

the list goes on and on and on.......................geez, all the stuff a woman has to do to get noticed!

Happy

So sorry I have not been able to do as many posts lately, I do apologize. I have been swamped finishing school and trying to find a job at the same time. I will try and get this up to date as soon as possible.

So far as Patti's 60-Day Dating Detox I have been happily following along and reaping the benefits of her advise. I even went and spent time with my grandmother, which I had been planning to do but never seemed to find the time. I have connected with people in a way I haven't in a long time, but most importantly, I am finding out what makes ME, Kimberly Love, truly happy.

I am working on becoming the type of woman that a man wants to be with and wants to be around. Instead of focusing so much on what I want in a man I am finding out I need just as much work on myself because I am far from perfect (hard to imagine, right?)

Ladies- Oprah says its okay to watch porn!

Who would have ever thought that the world's biggest porn star would wind up on Oprah?!?! I think I was as shocked as the rest of America but it turned out to be such an amazing show.

First thing: Jenna Jameson did not come off as the "Bimbo" everyone probably expected her to. I mean, let's face it, ladies- I have heard Jenna Jameson's name and thought she only did disgusting things on video strictly for MALE Entertainment. So not true!

Very pleased to find that she was very articulate in expressing her ideas about adult entertainment for WOMEN. Come to find out there is quite a market for adult entertainment made especially for women by women. Not to be crass here- but basically that translates to lots more kissing and a lot less shots of men erupting like a volcano if you know what I mean. Ladies, don't act like you don't cringe during those shots. So now Vivid Entertainment and Jenna Jameson are making millions targeting Internet porn - or "erotica" as it is supposed to be classified- towards women.

Jenna Jameson alone has made millions from her own company and now that she's been on Oprah probably millions more! And I must say I have to give it to her for being the savviest of business women- I mean, a porn star making it on Oprah to promote her business?! I think that was quite a feat. And now there are undoubtedly millions of housewives and single women downloading "erotica" right now as we speak!

Speaking of...I went to the sites (after making notes all during Oprah!) and thought they were fabulous. There's even a couple books I will probably order:

"How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" by Jenna Jameson
(I think there's a reason porn stars and strippers get paid so much money- let's face it, they know what men like and they know how to give it to them, why not learn a few things???)

"The Smart Girls Guide to Porn" by Violet Blue


Funniest moment during the show:
Oprah asked what do women mostly ask Jenna Jameson when they meet her? She said it's almost always the same: Women want to know how to give blow jobs! - And she said the women's husbands always want to thank her!!! Hilarious.

Well, I recommend Vivid Entertainment site for all you single ladies- and wives too.

If you'd like to know more about the episode here's the link:





http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Porn-Star-Jenna-Jamesons-Career-and-Family


Boy- what will Oprah have women doing next...

The Gay/Straight Game

So I went to an Art Gallery showing for the first time last night and it was fabulous! Men everywhere- okay, so majority of them were gay. But I love my gays. Seriously, gay men are so hot-plus they love art and culture, what's not to love?

Anyway, I find myself chatting it up with a guy who's probably my age, interesting guy, we have things in common. But not attracted to him in any way. Same thing happens with guy #2, we chat and vibe easily only I have no ounce of sexual attraction towards him.

An hour or so later we're at a lounge and I am practically sandwiched between the two when I realize I have made the same damn mistake I always do in situations like these. I always chat it up with guys I have absolutely no sexual attraction to because I am not the least bit self conscious. But when an attractive guy comes around I just freeze up. I HATE that! Feel like such an idiot.

Then I can't shake the unattractive guys who want to buy me drinks. What do I do?

So I sit there as these guys, and other interesting people too, chat and joke around me and I decide to play the Gay/Straight Game. As each guy walks into the lounge I amuse myself by trying to assess- Gay or Straight? Hard to tell since MANY gay men were in the house. But here were some clues I used:

guy walks in with his hat on backwards...more than likely straight.
guy walks in with a hoodie and ball cap, cigarette behind the ear...more than likely straight.
guy walks in with "Twilight" hair...probably gay.
two cute guys walk in with matching shirts, bow ties, and tussled hair...definitely gay.
hot guy walks in and hugs some other guys...don't think straight guys "hug" in bars.

anyway, I don't know why I always do this but I have got to get up the nerve to talk to guys I am actually attracted to otherwise I will never get any action!

Working 9 to 5, What a Way to Make a Living!

Well, tomorrow March 15, 2010 is the official day I get back into the job market, so please wish me luck!

For all of you out there searching it is absolutely TERRIFYING getting into the job market at this point- but school ends for me shortly and I have to do what I have to do.

As the economy took a dive I was just going back to school for another degree, thinking I was somewhat "protected" because things would have turned around by the time I got out.

Well, that was 2007, 2008...now it's 2010 and the economy is still in peril. I pray every night for those out there job hunting, and now myself included. It's best to keep a positive attitude and keep your chin up, right?

Dating and Race

So this weeks episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker brought up a very interesting question:

While most of us claim to date outside our race the reality is that most seem to hesitate to bring that person home to mother, and thus we don't see ourselves in a serious relationship or marrying that person of another color. And I think that goes both ways, black and white.

Here's a break down of the episode:

Trevor from the Midwest comes to LA to get Patti's help finding a mate. He wants a Christian All-American girl etc. When he makes a comment stating, "I've never even had a serious conversation with a black woman before." Patti probes further and finds out he comes from an exclusively all-white, Republican, small town so she probes to see if we would ever date outside his race.

He is hesitant but decides not to be too close minded.

At the mixer Patti puts a beautiful African American woman in his path to see what he would do. Surprisingly, he feels chemistry. Picks her and another blond.

When it all came down to it he picked the blond and asked her if he could fly her to his hometown.

I thought, would he have wanted to fly that black girl out to the Midwest? Couldn't he foresee that with the black girl things would have been far more complicated due to race?

Not to say that African Americans are any more accepting. I've dated a white guy myself, but was to afraid to introduce him to my family.

What do you think? Have you ever seriously dated someone of another race?

Dating Detox Day 7

Salsa Anyone?

So next on my list of indulgences was taking Salsa Lessons, which I have wanted to do for years but never got up the nerve. So Sunday I finally began learning how to salsa dance and I love it! Like my hot red pepper heels??

So far this Dating Detox thing has been fabulous. For anyone wondering what this is, here is an excerpt from her book:

"-Once you get the positive energy flowing, you'll move into a place of happiness that you'll never want to leave. This happiness will be so unflappable- you'll be able to be happy anytime, anywhere, or even more important, alone. As soon as you learn to revel in the opportunity to be by yourself rather than languish in miserable isolation, you'll be free of that ugly and burdensome feeling known as desperation. and once you've attained internal happiness, you'll be ready for a mature, solid relationship. A happy woman makes a much better companion, and you stock on the dating market will soar."

Most Embarrassing Dating Moment

Why You Should Never Drink on a First Date:

Okay, this is one of Patti's rules that I can testify to.

I finally scored a date with this really hot guy. This was back when my friends and I rented a house and he used to come to our "legendary" house parties. He was a friend of a friend, so to speak.

Because he was cute I dressed really hot- by the way fellas, you can tell how bad a girl wants to sleep with you by what she wears on your first date. If flats are invloved, dude, you are in serious trouble- Well I had back, arms, shoulders, legs, pretty much everything exposed I could get away with. I was feeling really sexy and we flirted over diner all night. I wanted him, he wanted me. I ate something with shrimp, terrible idea because little did I know I'd see that shrimp again. (ugh!)

I threw back girly drink after girly drink, thinking I was adding fuel to the fire. Getting rid of those inhibitions as alcohol promises to do. And then it happened- that gurgle in the pit of your stomach that says you're about to regret the fact that you ever touched alcohol. Visions of white toilet bowls began dancing in my head. But I tried to hide it. Smiled seductively. But he wasn't fooled.

"Um, you look a little green." He said though I tried to lie. After all I was hot, and hot girls don't toss their cookies in front of guys! That's only reserved for drunken nights at the club with your girls, who hold your hair while you throw up in the bushes.

Well, needless to say we got the hell out of there, he took me home and no "kiss" of any kind was invloved.

But here's the kicker. He was so worried he came inside and stood outisde the bathroom door while I had an unpleaseant reunion with those shrimp. So disgusting! But he was a total sweetheart! He even dated me afterwards. Big Kudos.

But that was definitely the most embarrasing dating moment ever!

Hips Don't Lie

Yes. I am taking belly dancing as of now. Crazy, right? Well, Patti would definitely approve because according to her book- I need to bring some of my feminine energy back- and I need to start exercising again. I will admit that I did not do so hot the first class- I really kind of sucked. But Thursday I really started to get the hang of things, and now every time I look in the mirror I practice my "hip" movements (as if I could lure a man to me with my hips, lol.)

We are learning the routine to Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie", and all during the day I hum the tune and smile, wondering how crazy people at work would think I am if they knew I was belly dancing.

*Promise I will take a picture of me in my coin sash soon.*

Another Simple Pleasure-Art

Kind of forgot that I was an artist, but thanks to Patti I have picked up the paint brush once again to help me get into my "happy place." Thanks Patti!

hope u like my mangos...if not please don't comment. (jk)

By the way, since Patti says you should visualize the man of your dreams...here he is. (stars on Grey's Anatomy!)

What's your dream man (or woman) look like?

Just a little something to put a smile on your face

Okay, I am so Not a pet person, and people that go so far as to dress their pets are HILARIOUS to me! Really, does that dog look happy?

Dating Detox: Day 1

Okay, so the very first thing Ms. Patti Stanger wants you to try is something she calls Dating Detox. Basically you need to stop being depressed, or being an all out bitch in some cases, and get to your happy place! Her theory: No man really wants to date a bitchy, depressed broad. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Men want happy, bubbly. And since I am niether of those- well, I guess I've got some work to do.

So I am suppossed to self indulge. It's all about me for 60 days. Twice as long as the recommended 30 days she says, because it's been That long since I have actually been on a date. And here's why:

*feel free to skip this sappy part about my sad love life and move on to the bottom. Hell, it's not like I'll ever know, right? No hurt feelings.*

(Que violin music...)

So, on Christmas day 2007 my entire family gathered around as my high school sweetheart proposed. I cried. The ring was beautiful. We moved in together, he worked full time and started a business on the side. I worked full time and went to school. No time for romance. Things fell apart. Everything came crashing down about a year later, and we officially canceled the wedding three weeks before the wedding date. Were all the plans already made and paid for you ask? Why, yes they were- so it was a humiliating, costly disaster to cancel a wedding three weeks before hand. Oh, and here's the kicker, since I was still in school and couldn't afford rent on my own, guess where I went after I moved out of his place? Yep, back home to mom and dad's at the age of 31. Nice, huh?

So Day 1. I actually went to work with a smile on my face, and instead of coming home to get on the computer I had Movie Night. On a Monday- just because the rule always seems to be Friday or Saturday nights for Movie Night. So I self-indulged, said I'm doing whatever the hell I want to do and had movie night with a big bowl of chips and guacamole- which I LOVE! Okay, so it wasn't exactly earth-shattering but Patti says I need to begin to enjoy the simple pleasures in life again, things that don't cost a whole lot of money. And she was right. I watched "New York, I Love You" because not only do I love guacamole- but I also love NYC. So it was a win, win and I'm happy.

There isn't anything about Natalie Portman I don't like. She starred and directed the film.

In case you needed anymore incentive to rent it, Bradley Cooper was in it as well. Yum.

Wonder what I'll do tomorrow?

A Girl in Desperate Need of Patti's Help

Well, everybody, welcome to my blog. If you are reading this I thank you sincerely for taking the time to read what is now my very first, official attempt at starting a real blog. I'm not really sure if this will go well or as planned but damn it- I'm just going to put myself out there anyway.

To get to the point- (as I know must people on the web, myself included, have ADD) I am in desperate need of Patti Stanger's help and advice. I need a date. Plain and simple. If you don't believe me check out these stats:

*32 years old

*lives at home with parents

*hasn't had a date in 2 whole years (yes I said TWO!)

*got engaged but Failed to make it down the aisle!

Are you feeling a little better about yourself now? You should. Like I said, if anyone needs help getting a date, it's yours truly.

So this is the plan, people. I watch Patti's show The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo -religiously, I've seen every episode- hey! It's what you do when you don't have a life, okay? Since I do not live in Los Angeles I decided to do the next best thing and buy her book, "Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate." And yes, I am shamelessly promoting her book (with no monetary reward in sight) because I believe that if I follow her advice Mr. Right will come. So walk with me people, on this new found journey because yours truly will be taking ALL the steps outlined in the book to see if her magic can truly work on me.

-And hey, maybe you can pick up a few pointers or two from my horribly embarrassing mistakes? Or maybe you can just get in a good laugh. Either way, please leave comments.